21 Comments
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Michael Drummond's avatar

So special and yet sorta a little dark!

Adrião Pereira da Cunha's avatar

The poem feels like someone sitting beside a loved one, listening so closely that every breath matters.

Calling her breathing a “blue kazoo” gives the moment a strange sweetness, like even the struggle has its own music.

You can sense the fear underneath, the kind that grows in the quiet between breaths.

Each small sound becomes a tiny reassurance that she’s still here.

It captures that suspended time when caring for someone means counting every rise and fall of their chest.

The short lines make the moment feel even more fragile.

There’s a softness in the language that makes the scene feel intimate and real.

You can almost imagine the room, still and dim, with only her breathing breaking the silence.

The narrator’s attention feels full of love, even if it’s mixed with worry.

In the end, the poem shows how even the faintest breath can feel like hope.

Mark Danowsky's avatar

Beautiful, touching, concise.

Jenna Mather's avatar

Love this poem! Short and sweet with a powerful gut punch at the end.

Blessing Obasi-Uzoma's avatar

It's beautiful and unique.

Brian King's avatar

Tim Green of Rattle ?

Brian King's avatar

is it the Tim Green

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

Yes, the one and only!

Brian King's avatar

really or is this a joke

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

Yes, this poem is written by Tim Green of Rattle.

Tara Mesalik MacMahon's avatar

a bit of a tough day, and this poem--just what I needed. A little levity, a little love. Thank you

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

So glad this poem offered some lightness to your day, Tara.

Emma Goldman-Sherman's avatar

OOF - the gut punch of it. Great to see such a short poem do so much work! And the stanza break gives space for the breathing. Wonderfully done!

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

I love this observation about the stanza break!

Laura Buxbaum's avatar

That’s beautiful

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

Thank you for reading, Laura.

Rochelle Jewel Shapiro's avatar

Light air of a verse. :)

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

Yes, the minimalism really gives this buoyancy.

Brian King's avatar

is this your poem or Timmy Green’s? of Raffle

Svetlana Litvinchuk's avatar

Hi Brian, this poem is by Tim Green, of Rattle. Published by us at ONLY POEMS Daily.