Toy Soldier by Aidan Chafe

Whenever I am sad I wrap myself in a tight blanket of fists.

Toy Soldier

by Aidan Chafe

---

They prescribed me a tractor 
and a box full of hammers 
and said find your true passion 
in all that testosterone. 
I broke myself instead. 
When I eventually repaired 
I was lost. Now I can only find 
myself when I am lost. Today 
I find myself bringing you home 
a croissant and a poem. 
They say every man is born 
with a kingdom of bunny rabbits 
inside of him. Every day he must 
resist the impulse to kill one. 
Whenever I am sad I wrap myself 
in a tight blanket of fists. 
When I was 14, two boys peed 
on me in the locker room showers 
like dogs marking territory. 
A girl opened the door for me 
this morning. A homeless man 
offered me a hug. 
At the park I saw a child 
decapitate a toy soldier. 
I recognized myself in his smile. 
Our ancestors brought 
home sabre tooth tigers. 
I ate your croissant. All I have 
to show you are bits of poem 
stuck between my teeth.